DON’T BE 1 IN 15 MILLION: A DEAR JIM LETTER – WITHOUT THE COMMITMENT
Join Planet Fitness online from Feb. 11 – 12 for Just 25 Cents Down, then $10 a Month – No Commitment
Dear [fill in the blank],
Look, there’s no easy way to say this. I’m just not the commitment type. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I could sit here and write, “it’s not you, it’s me,” but we’re beyond clichés at this point, right? I mean, really, it’s both of us. You want commitment. I don’t want to commit. It’s that simple. I value my freedom to easily walk away. You, well, don’t.
I know, Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. But don’t worry, I’m not going to ghost you. Not completely, at least. I’m not one of the 15 million Americans who have lied to their gym to get out of their membership*. Nor am I one of the 12 million who admit to ghosting a staff member just to avoid all kinds of in-club awkwardness (and to possibly get out of leg day)*. No, I’m above that. I tell it like it is.
I know you want me all to yourself, but the truth is that I simply can’t be tied down. I want to be able to do what I want, work out when I want, and not feel judged or intimidated.
And that’s not to say we didn’t have some great times. But aren’t those moments just that much sweeter when there aren’t any strings attached …? Truly, I expect more. I expect a massage every now and then. And pizza. And carbs, I mean, bagels. Because fitness can be fun. That’s why I’m joining Planet Fitness.
All this stress is just not worth the cost. So today (or even tomorrow), I’ll join Planet Fitness online at www.planetfitness.com for just 25 cents, then $10 a month – no commitment. Did you read that? No. Commitment. I mean, there are more than 1,600 clubs out there just calling my name and they’re not handcuffing me to the treadmill with a long-term expensive contract. And each of them is willing to offer me a variety of benefits that you never could, like free small group fitness instruction, brand name cardio and strength equipment, fully equipped locker rooms, flat screen televisions and oh-so much more. Literally for $10 a month. The price of two fancy coffees. How can I resist?
And before you even ask, I’m not doing this for the attention or the fanfare or just to become a member of the JFZ (… the Judgement Free Zone®, in case you didn’t know. It’s so cool, it’s copyrighted.). I just like the idea of being able to pop in whenever I want, knowing that Planet Fitness is always there for me – often 24/7, in fact. They’re not clingy; they’re not forcing me into any kind of long-term commitment, either. I can come over and use all their stuff – even get a HydroMassage – and they don’t think twice about it. It’ll be the happily ever after I’ve always wanted – and I’m not the first one to think so, either.
So, you see, this truly is a no brainer. I don’t need you, I don’t need commitment, I just need me, a quarter and 10 smackaroos a month.
And pizza. I always need pizza.
Love Regards,
Me
*A national study commissioned by Planet Fitness found that 15 million Americans have lied to their gym to get out of their membership and 12 million Americans admit to “ghosting” a staff member just to avoid in-club awkwardness. Online survey conducted by Kelton Global on behalf of Planet Fitness to 2,217 nationally representative Americans ages 18 and over, with a margin of error of +/- 2.1 percent.
About Planet Fitness
Founded in 1992 in Dover, NH, Planet Fitness is one of the largest and fastest-growing franchisors and operators of fitness centers in the United States by number of members and locations. As of September 30, 2018, Planet Fitness had more than 12.2 million members and 1,646 stores in 50 states, the District of Columbia, Puerto Rico, Canada, the Dominican Republic, Panama and Mexico. The Company's mission is to enhance people's lives by providing a high-quality fitness experience in a welcoming, non-intimidating environment, which we call the Judgement Free Zone®. More than 95% of Planet Fitness stores are owned and operated by independent business men and women.
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